Dear Aunty Stanky:
I have just had plastic surgery and everyone at the launderette is making mean jokes about my three-cup bra. What should I do?
- Eccentrica Gallumbits
Did you also make your skin blue? Apparently, the triple-cup maneuver needs blue skin to really make anyone sit up and take notice. (Or green, apparently, but I never understood that lot. Green? That’s Soylent, not sordid!)
Also, while we’re at it, what did you look like before the surgery? Send me pics, I just want to know for, um, posterity’s sake.
Your (not in any way pervy)