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Dream Vacation in Sagittarius

funny-space-story | Flying Monster Truck firing lasers above pool

            Witches rub me in the Magic Pool. My muscles fight each other—some yearn for the touch and some recoil. A witch about my age, thirty-one, rushes her hands back and forth over my chest and back. A stout-bearded warlock kneads my shoulders. A crone does something like reiki over my forehead.

            The witches have lived at this hallowed mountain grotto since the 1950s, the days of Aldous Huxley and Robert Graves. Now I have come to this place from between worlds, to put myself back together and decide what to do with the rest of my life.

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Posted in Featured Fiction

Hard Edits

funny-space-fiction

When insufferable quisling Allie Kingston, 27 Earth years, of Spring, Texas, learned she was expecting a child with Despot Governor Hlotll Uedaaly, approx. 400 Earth years, of the Spica solar system, she finally admitted some misgivings.

"I mean, who knew that was possible? But the Spican doctors said these pregnancies usually work out, and so far, so good. Looks like I won the genetic jackpot!"

"To them, Hlotll was just the overlord of Earth," Ms. Kingston said, from her parent's new spacious home built on the ruins of Magnolia. "Luckily they came around pretty quickly, especially after they met Hlotll and saw that being friends with a Spican allowed them some benefits. Now Mom's super excited to be a grandma."

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Posted in Science Fiction News

What Crisis?

internet-scifi-story

This thing came from Russia, like Tetris, vodka and cynical humour. They say you hit the singularity when you’re on it: full interface between man and machine.

It’s a drug, right? And what a drug, what a drug. Here's what you do. Lock the front door, then pop the pill. You’ll need a headset with biometric sensors on your temples and forehead. Get one from a military hardware site. Or get it from your uncle – I really don’t care. Once you drop, you got five minutes 'til you come up. While you’re waiting, hit the DarkNet. OnionWare is what you want. Then search for “Goznym: Leyla” and download.

By the time you’ve installed, you should be coming up. Feel every atom in your mind splitting.

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Posted in Science Fiction News

Dear Aunty Stanky: Sleepy

Dear Aunty Stanky, How can we dismantle the two-party system? People have been voting for politicians they're barely on-board with for decades, then they go apeshit against the opposition and, even more so, against the independents to try to resolve

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Posted in Dear Aunty Stanky

Dear Aunty Stanky -- Genre

Dear Aunty Stanky:  Almost no-one reads poetry, but genre fiction gets boatloads of readers by comparison. Why do you think this is?  GENRE-IS KHAN Dear Bad Pun: "I find your question of a sort That poets often ponder: Why am

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Posted in Dear Aunty Stanky
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