Wack Magic


Rose traced a finger around the rim of her wine glass. In a town like Dunk, there was little to do but entertain her thoughts about the Man in the Hood. He was an outsider. Nobody had seen his face or even knew his name. For the past two nights, Rose had shadowed his every move, only to discover that he rarely left his private chambers at the Cockalorum Inn. That's why she was stuck at the bar, drinking away her youth with a bottle of red.

"I'll tell you about the Man in the Hood," said Alfred, the town’s oldest barfly. “He’s plotting to kill Mayor Dadi.”

“And you know this, how?” said Rose.

“Because he wears the hood. Don’t you know? The warmer the head, the darker the scheme.” Alfred swigged his beer, then added, “It’s the perfect day for it too."

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Dear Aunty Stanky -- Parked

Dear Aunty Stanky,  Should I be concerned about the mysterious footsteps and rattling chain sounds I keep hearing from my attic? Also, do you think it's weird that my trailer has an attic? Sincerely, Parked in a Cemetery DEAR PARKED:

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Dear Aunty Stanky -- Netty

Dear Aunty Stanky, I have a friend who is starting a cult. He wants me to emblazon thirty black robes with symbols of a death unicorn and wash them in virgin blood. Should I charge him for my labour? Regards,

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Aunty Stanky -- PenT Up

Dear Aunty Stanky: Who keeps stealing my pens? I collect pens at my job; they get left behind. But still I had to buy pens the other day: I bought a 4-pack the other day--there's 20-packs but I'm sick of

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Dream Vacation in Sagittarius

funny-space-story | Flying Monster Truck firing lasers above pool

            Witches rub me in the Magic Pool. My muscles fight each other—some yearn for the touch and some recoil. A witch about my age, thirty-one, rushes her hands back and forth over my chest and back. A stout-bearded warlock kneads my shoulders. A crone does something like reiki over my forehead.

            The witches have lived at this hallowed mountain grotto since the 1950s, the days of Aldous Huxley and Robert Graves. Now I have come to this place from between worlds, to put myself back together and decide what to do with the rest of my life.

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