Suggested Destination: Paws 4 Luv


    The sickeningly quaint glass walls did nothing to help his claustrophobia. Neither did the unfamiliar stars beyond. Day would come around in a few minutes, but Nozario doubted that would help either.

     The eager crowd swarmed around him like fleas. They wedged Nozario in between the teleportation station and the welcome counter, behind which were five desks where adoption agents helped guests pick out a new feline family member. 

     Nozario checked his watch. Neuterings probably happened every day, so he was running out of time to save Calvin’s balls.

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Dear Aunt Stanky -- Peripatetic

Dear Aunty Stanky: The neighborhood next to me put up a "residents only" sign. But I take my family for walks there. Legally, it's state-maintained roads, so they can't stop us. But should we stop anyways out of respect for

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Dear Aunty Stanky: Puzzled

Dear Aunty Stanky:  I recently adopted my first child through the Universal Religious Orphanage for Children. However, the paperwork did not include the species (or age) of my new bundle of joy. I am assuming however that principles of raising

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My Role in the Extinction of the Moon Marmots


John Baba, head of the United Nations Security Council, reacted swiftly. “Look at his little boots,” he said. “And his helmet!”

The messenger, a Vancouver Island marmot with a master's in International Relations, was not a he, and was not amused. “My uniform is standard issue,” she squeaked. “Furthermore—”

“Listen to it talk!” Baba yelped. The humans erupted with laughter.

The marmot hoisted a tiny flag bearing the seal of the Marmot Collective. “Prepare to defend yourselves,” she cheeped, and marched out.

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Dear Aunty Stanky: Turduckin'

Dear Aunty Stanky: My friend Laura used to work at an air conditioning repair place with a guy named Hank Stanky who invented a modified version of the Hanky Panky called the Hanky Stanky, which involved pantomiming the act of pulling

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