Nobody will ever dance with me at parties. Could it be my flatulent knickerbockers?
SOLO IN SANTA MONICA
Dear So-low –
Men are pigs, let’s face it. So you have pungent pantaloons, so what? Maybe your leiderhosen are laden, who cares? Frankly, you’re too good for these cretins anyway.
I suggest you stay home and enjoy a nice bubble bath…
Always your (very large, quickly spinning) fan,