Excuse me, but I couldn’t help noticing that you’ve been standing here for quite some time now. It’s the traffic lights, isn’t it? They take forever to change.
You know, there is a faster way for a pedestrian such as yourself to travel through this city. One with no traffic lights, no cars, no accursed cyclists. Just you and the open road. Wide open road. Missing road, some might say, but not me. No, I’d never say something like that. Ridiculous thing to say, really.
Is that an umbrella there, under your arm? It is! What a coincidence. Who’d have thought. In light of this, I feel obligated to tell you a little more, for your own safety. Umbrellas are dangerous things after all. I mean, this city is crawling with them, and nobody seems to know how to use them properly! Can you believe it?