“Take us to your proctologist,” said the largest dollop. This utterance represented the evolutionary summit of the Ululating Tzatziki. From this point onwards it was all rapidly downhill. “Wot?” said the Earthman, who took his cigarette out of his mouth and looked about the dark train platform. “Take us to your proctologist,” came the voice again after a pause. “We are the Tzatziki. We ululate.” It sounded like speaking was difficult. The Earthman looked on, entirely unable to grasp the momentous event that was taking place before his eyes.