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bill magnuson and his leaf blower must die

a friend told me
there is a huge cash reward
for proof
aliens are here
among us
visiting our earth

i have such proof

in fact
aliens told me directly
(telepathically of course)
that the next time
my neighbor
bill magnuson
turns on his leaf blower
on a perfectly sunny day
and ruins my solitude
destroys my peace of mind
my precious quiet...

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Posted in Featured Fiction

The Last Goodnight


by Chris Swindell

The sun, small and white and nearly dead, is a pinprick in the sky. If it were alone, even at noon it would look like nothing more than a fat star. But, oh, it’s not alone. The firmament behind the guttering white dwarf is a riot of luminous colors, reds and pinks, electric blues and neon greens. It’s a small child’s painting, all reckless smears and wild swirls, lit up and hung across the heavens.

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Posted in Featured Fiction

Eyeball Chewer

by Aaron Garrison

Care instructions for Eyeball Chewer:

1. Keep a steady supply of fake eyeballs for him to chew. Remember: he does not discriminate between fake and real.

2. He may suckle his own eyeballs from time to time, and this his fine. Despite the discharge, they are very strong, and his eye stalks, stronger.

3. Do not anger Eyeball Chewer. His teeth are as sharp as they appear, and there's another row behind those.

4. Don't freak out if his penises go erect. He will not mount you, usually.

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Posted in Featured Fiction

Sand Castles

by Mark McKee Jr.

I feed it and it grows and it spits up.
I shovel the vomit into piles, build sand castles. It dances back and forth, first hopping on one hind foot then the other. Its feet are green and black.
A gull cries over the sea. Waves crash along the white sand beach.
It nods at the castle, "I pillage?"
"Go ahead," I say.
It steps backwards, counting to five. It counts the steps loudly, like this,"Umph. Umph. Umph." At the end of the five steps it runs in place, mounting speed. The sand on the beach erodes under its spinning feet. My eyes lose track of them. They become a single green foot. The scales are no longer visible.
It's running so fast it spits up.

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Posted in Featured Fiction