Blog Archives

Bob and Beastman's Honeymoon

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Tagging along on the honeymoon of your two best friends makes you feel a little like the squeaky extra wheel on your nephew's tricycle. Your two best friends in the whole world are a sentient monkey named Bob and a beastman cleverly named Beastman.

So far you've been having the time of your life on a deserted island with disappointingly few desserts.

Yet in your drunken revelry you forgot to secure the rowboat you had arrived in. Your friends have just realized this after waking up from a hangover so strong that they could kill mosquitoes with their blood.

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Posted in Best Free Scifi

Gronk and the Shiny Gold Hat

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Little pink men ask how Gronk come to wear shiny gold hat.

Gronk tell.

Gronk tribe once had many men. Many women for mating. Then, Gronk's tribe do what Boss call "implode." Boss use big words. Not of Gronk's tribe. Boss from pink men's tribe. Find Gronk smashing sheep with rock, tell Gronk, "Shatter their gates. Kill their knights. Help me seize the crown."

Gronk understand 'smash' and 'kill.'

Boss promise Gronk many mates. Big hills with many rocks to smash. Much food. Gronk bored smashing sheep, so, Gronk agree.

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Posted in Best Free Scifi

Unmathematical

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“In those days,” said Grandpapa from his recliner, “space was not yet a vacuum, and hellfire had a name unmathematical.”

The older kids playing poker at the table rolled their eyes. The little ones on the floor kept setting up Mousetrap.

“But Grandpapa,” Ivy looked up from the instructions. “Space was always a vacuum.”

“Now you’ve done it,” groaned Rory and threw his cards down.

“We couldn’t quite escape, you see,” said Grandpapa, “we had not yet tamed the demons. Not entirely.”

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Posted in Best Free Scifi
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