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Fall Triple Feature

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While Jillian, gorgeous in a Wonder Woman costume, flirted with some fit dude annoyingly dressed as Conan the Barbarian and smelling like Old Spice, I tried to act cool by the snack table. The cracker spiders looked bland, the oyster brains smelled nasty, so I tried an egg and black-olive eyeball.

A portly panda stood with his butt against the island and sipped a red-colored drink through a straw set in a tall glass. His costume covered everything but his face. The whites of his eyes were startling in the black makeup, which I guessed he’d applied himself without a mirror. As the only other person in the kitchen, he greeted me with a weird, black-lipped smile. “What’s up?”

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Posted in Featured Fiction

Bob and Beastman's Honeymoon

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Tagging along on the honeymoon of your two best friends makes you feel a little like the squeaky extra wheel on your nephew's tricycle. Your two best friends in the whole world are a sentient monkey named Bob and a beastman cleverly named Beastman.

So far you've been having the time of your life on a deserted island with disappointingly few desserts.

Yet in your drunken revelry you forgot to secure the rowboat you had arrived in. Your friends have just realized this after waking up from a hangover so strong that they could kill mosquitoes with their blood.

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Posted in Featured Fiction

Delicious Served Cold

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"So, Reeves, I imagine you weren't expecting to see me again after serving me for dinner."

"Indeed, sir. Although I do feel obliged to point out that, at this late stage, there really isn't much of you left to see."

"Well, since I can see you, Reeves, as well as 'enjoy' this conversation, I must possess a head of some kind, at least."

"At most, sir."

"Oh, I see...I think!"

"To be frank, sir, you can do little else."

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Posted in Featured Fiction

Mixed-World Love Affair

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There she went, strutting down the street with the mad tenacity of a drunken stilt-walker—stumbling, wobbling, yet determined to keep moving as if nothing was amiss. On her perfectly opposable and slightly furry left foot, she wore a killer six-inch stiletto, glittering bright red in the streetlights, while the other foot was bare. Her shoe had gone missing on the dance floor. It probably got stuck in one of the holes of the crumbling wooden planks that urgently needed refinishing and was by now trampled down to its makings: rubber, leather, rhinestones.

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Posted in Scifi News

Leather Is Back

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As the whole world knows by now, last weekend's wardrobe malfunction on the red carpet was actually a bold fashion statement by Clarinne. The “skin” she flashed was really a daring design by LaPeau Leather. So I, as your fashion reporter, have dedicated this week's article to giving you all the details.

I am pleased to announce, Ladies (and of course, you discerning Gentlemen), that Leather is Back! Cruelty-free and more fashion-conscious than ever!

LaPeau has perfected vat-grown leathers that even the most expensive DNA test couldn't tell from traditional sources. And their growing methods have made it possible to have seams only where fashion demands, not where nature dictates. What progress!

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Posted in Featured Fiction, Scifi News
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